A Letter to The Deceased

I am fully aware of your presence and I no longer want it. Rather, I do, but I am sick of it interfering with my every day life. I welcome your shadow on my walls and the faint touch of your hand on my cheek, but I do not want you to bother me when I am trying to live my life.
I have given you the last two years of my life. Well, most of it. I have allowed you to rule over most my decisions and thoughts, I've allowed you to be the sole thing I can write about. I have let you take whole days out of my life, I have allowed three black days a year to spend a day devoted to your absence. I will still reserve those days for my tears and thoughts. But I do not want to lose my life just because you lost yours.
I am not your slave. I will not be your slave and I will not let you imprison me.
I do, however, still need you. I need you to be there when no one else is. I need to feel your hands guiding me through the chaos that is life.
I need someone to talk to.
I need you to stay alive. I know that you couldn't before, but I need you to this time.
Because if you don't,
I don't know if I can.